I always forget you can use big boy words too you're right though fuck this place with a rusty chainsaw
yeah I'll try not to bleed all over your everything thanks bee tee dubs shit like this always upsets the old lady
[ It won't be too long before the door is opened, and kindly shut, and then theres the sound of someone hobbling and falling into the walls on their way to the promise land.
The promise land being the tub.
Oh and don't forget the stench of blood, if his lil nosey is still up to snuff.
He falls and crumples into the tub when he finds it. One long leg stretched out, and the other a stump right below his knee.
If Logan decides to visit his houseguest he'll be met by the end of a long yellow tape measure prodding him in the chest, to keep him out of the bounce zone. ] It's a lot like the splash zone but Shamu is an asshole healing factor instead of an asshole whale.
[ Yes, he's talking to the fourthwall. ] Ughhhh. [ But look at his cool offbrand Hdllo Kitty measuring tape. That's cool, right? Also cool, his leg is already stitching itself back together, a gross mess of flesh, muscle, bone and veins. ]
[Logan does indeed show up, standing in the doorway looking into the bathroom with a pinched look. There's gonna be blood all under the grout now, and he really doesn't feel like cleaning it up so - he'll just have to keep people from looking in here until he does. Provided Wade's not sticking around a while, anyway. He crosses his arms over his chest after batting away the measuring tape.]
[ With a grunt, Wade drops the tape measure next to him, causing it to make a wobbly wobbly sound as the yellow tape snaps to the side. It's like he was born to be annoying. ]
Eff why eye, it pissed me off. And second, a monster out in the creepy forest that thought I looked like dinner.
[ He tugs his mask off in an attempt to get more comfortable. ]
How's it hangin' my Austranadian friend? Settling in okay? Dying tragically of a busted HF? Or did you get over that?
[ He wiggles the leg with a regrowing stump. He stares at it before his brown eyes flicker up to Logan. ] I bet our healing factors could do the nasty and juice you back up.
[Although Logan knows better - he pretends that the nonsense pouring out of Wade's mouth is on account of blood loss delirium. It's somehow easier to deal with him that way, rather than just thinking the guy's got as many screws loose as he figures. He murmurs a vaguely affirming repeat of 'Monsters in the fucking forest, huh' while pondering that over. Woods behind his place are pretty close, after all. Still, no fucks given.]
It's picked up a little. Not what it was, but...
[He flexes his hand. What can you do, eh.]
I'm fine with it as is. But thanks for the charming suggestion. You want a bandaid?
[Wryly said as he cants his head to the side and stares at the stump. Gross.]
[ Wade's head lolls back and he stares at the ceiling, unimpressed by it. Dryly: ] Yeah... a bandaid'll do it.
[ Yeah, the stump is gross, AND it hurts like a fucking bitch. ]
Hundred big ones says you'll be singing a different tune when you realise how badly you need a healing factor that doesn't need a blue pill in this place.
[ But he's content with letting Logan come to that conclusion on his own. ] Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you're more useful than nipples on the Batsuit. [ Despite the insult, it's said in such a calm casual tone that it isn't exactly presented as trying to start a fight. ]
[Well, Wade, some of us still haven't fully come to terms with not wanting to kick the bucket so we still don't mind deteriorating in plain sight. At least for now, but things are getting more and more complicated the more people arrive that know Logan. He's starting to get boxed into having to survive again. It's the pits.]
She's good. Annoying, but good.
[He says that with an odd flick of affection in his voice.]
[He'll forfeit the stabbing rights just for you, Wade.]
Laying low tends to work best if you aren't cutting people's heads off, so no. Not gonna say I haven't come close, though. Nut jobs in white were a real fuckin' riot.
[ Stabbing is a problem with his bouncy healing factor. He still has nightmares about bouncing what should have been death to Laura on accident. Still blames himself too. He'll keep lying about it, but it's one of the reasons he's no longer hanging around her or Diarmuid as much.
Even what should be a cool superpower backfires to punch him in the face. If he didn't have bad luck, he'd have no luck at all. ]
Most nut jobs in white are. Half of America can tell you that. So, you're laying low, huh? No samurai-ing or X-Manning? Not even mercenary work?
[ He wiggles his one foot like he's listening to music. God, regrowing a limb hurts. ]
[He says with a jerk of his thumb through the wall most adjacent to the driveway. Fucking car doesn't even fit in the garage, so it's always out there getting shit on by birds and tagged by white-hand printed dipshits. And with this town the whole party scene's not exactly huge, but:]
Pays a couple bills. Lot less murder involved. Win win.
Oh... [ His gaze follows the gesture, and when it lands on the wall, he looks back to Logan to give him a baffled look. Cool wall, dude. ]
That doesn't sound like any winning to me, but you do you, Charlie Sheen.
[ Boring. ]
My buddy Dopinder drives a taxi. You two would hit it off great. Driving, dealing with people, talking to me. [ He sighs wistfully. He does actually miss the little bastard. ]
[Said dryly - arching a brow. He's kind of over staring at Wade's limb as it regrows, so he takes a towel off the rack and throws it over it. Mutters something kind like 'cover that shit up, it's disgusting' even though he's seen worse.]
You want a beer? Feels like you'll be here a while.
I went through a car wash once. Trying to clean the suit. I wouldn't recommend it.
[ He doesn't make any move to uncover his regrowing stub of a leg.
Wade gasps, all dramatics. His hand going over his chest, like a startled Southern Belle. Less like a Southern Belle since his gloved hand leaves the wet evidence of blood on his suit, even if it blends in. ]
Offering me a beer? Wolvie, I'm starting to think you like me. [ He offers him a goofy grin and nods. ] I'd love a beer. Canadian?
[He says before turning around to go check - it's a lot of bargain beer, but that's all he's up to sharing with his Lovely Kind Stranger Friend Wade so that's what he returns with. He looks at the label and gives a non committal shrug before offering it to Wade.]
It's better than anything lite.
Was this a bottle or a can surprise it's now a bottle. The tickets are now diamonds
[ Wade takes it happily enough, even if it is bargain beer and quickly makes a shooing motion with his free hand. ]
Personal space, Bub. Dunno what this'll do to you and at this point it'd feel like elder abuse.
[ Wade easily pops the top off before flicking it at Logan's chest. It's playful more than any real semblance of an attack. Not that attacking people with bottle caps is a common thing; but if someone could and would do it, it'd be Wade. ]
[Logan's healing factor's been naturally busted and he's yet to find out the effects warping has on people here. He'll probably find it out soon enough, but even still he takes his half step back so no more caps fly his way. He's gonna make you pick that thing up, Wade. Even if it just rolled behind a sixty year old toilet.]
Or some shit. This place did something to me. Bad-touched the ole HF. Like I said, splash zone. I'm rubber and everyone else around me is glue. Great for bad guys, way less great when the good guys are around me. Super terrible when your main squeeze likes playing hero and doesn't understand the meaning of being glue.
[ It's cute he thinks he can make Wade do anything. ]
Fuck, am I turning green? I should look approximately like the Wicked Witch of The West right about now.
[ He takes a swig of his drink. It's something to focus on instead of the pain. ]
Nothing touches me unless I take three times the lethal dose, booze, drugs, bullets to the brain. Gets everyone around me though. Unless it's the magic stuff. That's the good shit.
[ A pained moan escapes him and his head tilts back so that he's staring at the ceiling again. At least he can feel toes, which means there shouldn't be any more bleeding. Even if they're teeny tiny and attached to a way too small foot. Give it time and the agonising sped up feeling of growing pains. ]
[Don't moan loudly in his tub, Wade. The neighbors will talk.]
That sucks.
[Poetic response from a guy who knows what it's like to have a shitty healing factor going down the decline like a greased up kid in a twisty slide, but even still - he somehow doesn't have it that bad? Granted, Logan's still dying in his own way. C'est la vie.]
[ Inb4 half of Deerington thinks they're canoodling. Wade doesn't care what the neighbours think, or really what Logan thinks about him regrowing a damn limb. ]
Not in any fun ways.
[ But the question has him faltering, going from an expression of pain, to something far more injured looking and then straight to looking like he's ready to ask the next person he sees to douse him in gasoline and strike a match. ]
Why? Looking to get handsy with the one legged guy? [ He pauses, lifts his leg up so that the towel falls off to show the beginnings of what appears to be a baby's leg and foot. ] Guess I'm back up to two. Don't have to mark that kink down for AO3. [ He lowers it back down with a visible wince. ]
[Logan tries not to look at the leg - the... baby leg. Gross? It's fucking gross, Wade. Keep your tiny baby toes to yourself. Logan looks away to remove that haunting image by staring at the chipped tiles over the sink - the whole fucking room needs a goddamn reno. He folds his arms and leans back on the door frame.]
I guess I'm just wondering how shit here works. What's worth trying to keep up with.
["My old lady's here too but y'know, I already died and she's probably going to - so should we shack up? What's your opinion, bro?"]
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deerington | inbox for James "Logan" Howlett
no subject
define bullshit
an hour or two
three tops
no subject
you bring people to my doorstep and you're leaving with them.
no subject
not bringing anyone
pinky promise
cross my heart
stick a needle in my eye yada yada
just me
me and my foot
actually forget the foot
I'm ditching it
is it illegal to throw feet away in trash cans????
no subject
Don't bleed too much on my door mat. Shit's gonna be unlocked.
I'll look for some rags.
cw: injury gore
you're right though
fuck this place
with a rusty chainsaw
yeah
I'll try not to bleed all over your everything
thanks bee tee dubs
shit like this always upsets the old lady
[ It won't be too long before the door is opened, and kindly shut, and then theres the sound of someone hobbling and falling into the walls on their way to the promise land.
The promise land being the tub.
Oh and don't forget the stench of blood, if his lil nosey is still up to snuff.
He falls and crumples into the tub when he finds it. One long leg stretched out, and the other a stump right below his knee.
If Logan decides to visit his houseguest he'll be met by the end of a long yellow tape measure prodding him in the chest, to keep him out of the bounce zone. ] It's a lot like the splash zone but Shamu is an asshole healing factor instead of an asshole whale.
[ Yes, he's talking to the fourthwall. ] Ughhhh. [ But look at his cool offbrand Hdllo Kitty measuring tape. That's cool, right? Also cool, his leg is already stitching itself back together, a gross mess of flesh, muscle, bone and veins. ]
no subject
So who Or what'd you piss off?
I'm sorry.... cw: missing limb stuff
Eff why eye, it pissed me off. And second, a monster out in the creepy forest that thought I looked like dinner.
[ He tugs his mask off in an attempt to get more comfortable. ]
How's it hangin' my Austranadian friend? Settling in okay? Dying tragically of a busted HF? Or did you get over that?
[ He wiggles the leg with a regrowing stump. He stares at it before his brown eyes flicker up to Logan. ] I bet our healing factors could do the nasty and juice you back up.
no subject
It's picked up a little. Not what it was, but...
[He flexes his hand. What can you do, eh.]
I'm fine with it as is. But thanks for the charming suggestion. You want a bandaid?
[Wryly said as he cants his head to the side and stares at the stump. Gross.]
no subject
[ Yeah, the stump is gross, AND it hurts like a fucking bitch. ]
Hundred big ones says you'll be singing a different tune when you realise how badly you need a healing factor that doesn't need a blue pill in this place.
[ But he's content with letting Logan come to that conclusion on his own. ] Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you're more useful than nipples on the Batsuit. [ Despite the insult, it's said in such a calm casual tone that it isn't exactly presented as trying to start a fight. ]
How's the kid? Still a badass?
[ Catching up? Definitely. ]
no subject
She's good. Annoying, but good.
[He says that with an odd flick of affection in his voice.]
She stabbed me the other day. That was fun.
cw: suicidal ideation
Man, you and Francine get all the good stuff. She's never stabbed me before.
[ Why yes, he does sound petulant about that, like he actually means it. ]
What about you, big boy? You able to get it up yet? Any slicing and dicing and chicken fried ricing?
no subject
[He'll forfeit the stabbing rights just for you, Wade.]
Laying low tends to work best if you aren't cutting people's heads off, so no. Not gonna say I haven't come close, though. Nut jobs in white were a real fuckin' riot.
cw: kkk reference idk is that a cw
[ Stabbing is a problem with his bouncy healing factor. He still has nightmares about bouncing what should have been death to Laura on accident. Still blames himself too. He'll keep lying about it, but it's one of the reasons he's no longer hanging around her or Diarmuid as much.
Even what should be a cool superpower backfires to punch him in the face. If he didn't have bad luck, he'd have no luck at all. ]
Most nut jobs in white are. Half of America can tell you that. So, you're laying low, huh? No samurai-ing or X-Manning? Not even mercenary work?
[ He wiggles his one foot like he's listening to music. God, regrowing a limb hurts. ]
no subject
[He says with a jerk of his thumb through the wall most adjacent to the driveway. Fucking car doesn't even fit in the garage, so it's always out there getting shit on by birds and tagged by white-hand printed dipshits. And with this town the whole party scene's not exactly huge, but:]
Pays a couple bills. Lot less murder involved. Win win.
no subject
That doesn't sound like any winning to me, but you do you, Charlie Sheen.
[ Boring. ]
My buddy Dopinder drives a taxi. You two would hit it off great. Driving, dealing with people, talking to me. [ He sighs wistfully. He does actually miss the little bastard. ]
no subject
[Said dryly - arching a brow. He's kind of over staring at Wade's limb as it regrows, so he takes a towel off the rack and throws it over it. Mutters something kind like 'cover that shit up, it's disgusting' even though he's seen worse.]
You want a beer? Feels like you'll be here a while.
no subject
[ He doesn't make any move to uncover his regrowing stub of a leg.
Wade gasps, all dramatics. His hand going over his chest, like a startled Southern Belle. Less like a Southern Belle since his gloved hand leaves the wet evidence of blood on his suit, even if it blends in. ]
Offering me a beer? Wolvie, I'm starting to think you like me. [ He offers him a goofy grin and nods. ] I'd love a beer. Canadian?
no subject
[He says before turning around to go check - it's a lot of bargain beer, but that's all he's up to sharing with his Lovely Kind Stranger Friend Wade so that's what he returns with. He looks at the label and gives a non committal shrug before offering it to Wade.]
It's better than anything lite.
Was this a bottle or a can surprise it's now a bottle. The tickets are now diamonds
[ Wade takes it happily enough, even if it is bargain beer and quickly makes a shooing motion with his free hand. ]
Personal space, Bub. Dunno what this'll do to you and at this point it'd feel like elder abuse.
[ Wade easily pops the top off before flicking it at Logan's chest. It's playful more than any real semblance of an attack. Not that attacking people with bottle caps is a common thing; but if someone could and would do it, it'd be Wade. ]
Can you get drunk now?
w h a m, you're on a horse
[Logan's healing factor's been naturally busted and he's yet to find out the effects warping has on people here. He'll probably find it out soon enough, but even still he takes his half step back so no more caps fly his way. He's gonna make you pick that thing up, Wade. Even if it just rolled behind a sixty year old toilet.]
I can get not sober, which is just as good.
[Complicated shit, a failing factor.]
At least it's something. You?
cw: more suicidal stuff
[ It's cute he thinks he can make Wade do anything. ]
Fuck, am I turning green? I should look approximately like the Wicked Witch of The West right about now.
[ He takes a swig of his drink. It's something to focus on instead of the pain. ]
Nothing touches me unless I take three times the lethal dose, booze, drugs, bullets to the brain. Gets everyone around me though. Unless it's the magic stuff. That's the good shit.
[ A pained moan escapes him and his head tilts back so that he's staring at the ceiling again. At least he can feel toes, which means there shouldn't be any more bleeding. Even if they're teeny tiny and attached to a way too small foot. Give it time and the agonising sped up feeling of growing pains. ]
cw: se xu al.. sugg es t ion?
That sucks.
[Poetic response from a guy who knows what it's like to have a shitty healing factor going down the decline like a greased up kid in a twisty slide, but even still - he somehow doesn't have it that bad? Granted, Logan's still dying in his own way. C'est la vie.]
Your squeeze's here as well?
[He can't talk. He's head over heels for J-Grey.]
I was ... so confused for a second
Not in any fun ways.
[ But the question has him faltering, going from an expression of pain, to something far more injured looking and then straight to looking like he's ready to ask the next person he sees to douse him in gasoline and strike a match. ]
Why? Looking to get handsy with the one legged guy? [ He pauses, lifts his leg up so that the towel falls off to show the beginnings of what appears to be a baby's leg and foot. ] Guess I'm back up to two. Don't have to mark that kink down for AO3. [ He lowers it back down with a visible wince. ]
i like keeping u on ur toes
I guess I'm just wondering how shit here works. What's worth trying to keep up with.
["My old lady's here too but y'know, I already died and she's probably going to - so should we shack up? What's your opinion, bro?"]
They're very strong at this point
You sure? I won't be able to stop you if you decide to make out with me. [ He's joking... probably.... maybe. ]
The Joneses and the Kardashians mainly.
[ Wade pauses, only for a split second, seeming to fall a little more serious. This is a topic he's struggled with quite a lot. ]
It depends on what's important to you, otherwise you'll lose your fucking mind in this place. Take it from Zenpool.
tiny but powerful toes: the thread