knewaguy | (no subject)

[Logan is like the worst person to ask this advice of. He might have some insight in a non biased way but he's literally pursued Jean Grey despite her having a solid and much more concrete relationship going on at the time. And he'd do it again and again like a dog forgetting that his metal bowl's going to get static build up and shock him if he keeps nosing it along the carpet this way. So. Of course? He gives great advice:]

You can make a move. If you want to, you should do it.

Dude.
Even if I were healthy and we weren't all being consistently hunted for sport by horrible dream terrors, making a move now would be an awful start to a relationship.
"Hey, I think you and this guy you still have feelings for have a chance to be together, but there's a window of opportunity here and I'm just gonna sneak my way in and take a shot". Like.
That's not cool.

[ logan is very much the kind of person to say that nice guys finish last, and - stiles knows that, so maybe choosing to talk to him of all people about this was a bad idea. or maybe he specifically came to logan because that's something he wants to hear - maybe there's some shitty, grey part of stiles that wants the encouragement to do something he wants to do despite all the guilt the fantasy makes him feel. ]

Some other guy kissed his boyfriend. Even though he knew he was with Billy. So.
I don't want him to think I'm like that.

Edited 2020-04-19 06:13 (UTC)

You don't want to be a douche bag taking advantage of a situation, I get that.

But you're not. You're just taking advantage of a situation in your favor. It's what you have to do sometimes. If he says it's over, it's over. Let him do his own thinking before you start seeding his head with thoughts about his ex.

I

[ wait wait wait wait wait, hold on. stiles cannot scramble to sit up any faster. ]

I wasn't trying to get in his head. That is the polar opposite of what I've been trying to do. That's like ending up in the Sahara when you set out to find penguins.
He and his ex are still very much a thing. They have to be. Billy cried so much when we were talking about him, dude. Like, snot-nosed Niagara falls-tier crying. Full on blubbering. Wailing. Bawling and smashing his fists on the ground and screaming noo. The whole shebang.
I wasn't, like. Implanting. Ideas. I was just trying to get him to see something that's clearly very much there.

It's not your place to fix their relationship. Seems like it was a shitty one if it ended over something small.

If you don't want to make a move, don't. But also don't make excuses for why you can't if you really want to.

Explanations aren't excuses. They're explanations. None of you big name cigar-smoking badasses ever seem to realize that.
Acknowledging that you can't do something for x reason doesn't make you a coward, it makes you someone who can view problems critically and objectively while maintaining a decent fucking semblance of self-awareness.
So.
Take that, for starters. Put you in your place. Tough guy.

Secondly,
I kind of think you're right about some of the things you said, but I'm not going to tell you which things. Because I'm mad at you. Soooooo.
Yeah. I'm coming out on top. Getting the best of these back and forths you and I seem to volley off one another so easily.

Yeah, well. Early bird gets the worm. You wait too long and shit slips by.

You get a chance, you take it. Trust me, kid. Some things you don't want to let keep slipping by.

"People are worms to be consumed." - You.
But yeah, I get it.
Still think this is all predominantly a failed hypothetical, thanks to the dying and the terror, but. We've covered that.

Have you really been hooking up with people since before I was born?
I mean, I know you have, but this is my attempt to lead us into a new segment of our show. One where you share filthy stories with your best friend Stiles about the sordid days of your romantic past.

Listen, without intervention? The two of us are fucking going south. You wanna do that with absolutely nothing under your belt? Go for it. But I'm telling you you might as well try.

I'm not feeding you any sordid stories. There are a lot less than you think there would be.

[But, well. There still are a few.]

I'm pretty fucking old. I got around.

[ easier said than done, but - stiles doesn't argue. not because he doesn't have a response, but because he just kind of wants to believe in logan and follow his bad advice, even if his conscience won't let him. ugh. time to lay on thick layers of uncomfortable humor to get past this. ]

How around? How around.
You don't need to go into detail, but if you secretly banged a princess or a celebrity or another superhero I wouldn't know about, you are legally obligated to tell me.
I'm eighteen years old, Logan. The big one-eight. Do you know how much I've gotten around? I haven't even left the freaking parking lot.
As of this month, I am officially a grown-ass adult man who has never so much as gotten behind the wheel of a car that could get me around.
The sex car. I haven't driven the sex car. I haven't had sex. I don't know if that was clear.
I need to live vicariously through somebody else or I'm going to lose my fucking mind.

This isn't you asking for the Talk right
I told Frank he's on his own giving that to Laura so I sure as hell ain't giving it to you.

I'm also not stupid enough to give you anything to use against me when it comes to Jean.

No, no. That's covered.
I mean, that's covered. Honestly, the videos I've seen? The things I've read? I could probably teach you a thing or two.
I mean, bad things. Things you'd hate. Or, I don't know, maybe you'd be into them? Maybe letting me regale you with an epic tale of Sonic the Hedgehog oviposition is something you'd like. Maybe reading Banjo Kazooie inflation would awaken something in you. I don't know. I'm not your sex therapist. Good for you, if that's your thing.
But.
Hm.
I lost where I was going with this. This was a weird brag.

I wouldn't use anything against you when it came to Jean. I want the two of you to kiss kiss fall in love.
But fine. Be a baby.
I'll find someone else to gossip with. I don't care. I don't even like gossip. Or you. So.

Edited 2020-04-20 02:13 (UTC)

Cool.

Cool. Fine.

[ ... ]

I'm obviously not going to find someone else to gossip with.
James.
Logan.

There anything else you want to gossip about with your schoolboy crush or are we done here?

Shut up.

Wait, hold on. I do have something else. You're, like. 200, right?
Can I ask you... something? About? That?
Promise it won't devolve into any kind of Wolverine admiration. I know how bashful that makes you.

Around 198. Not 200 yet.

[Like that matters or he really knows, specifically. Still.]

Go ahead.

Cool. Okay. So.

What was it like adjusting to modern indoor plumbing?
Clean water. Sanitary bathroom usage. Showers. The works.
How monumental was that transition? Because, uh, hey - I'm guessing it was pretty freaking monumental.
I bet you had to use chamber pots growing up. I bet you still keep a chamber pot under your bed for the warm, nostalgic safety.

Of all the shit you could ask me, that's what you go with.
Nothing about wars, bombings, even color fucking tv.
You ask me if I grew up pissing in a pot instead.

That's the kind of attitude someone who grew up pissing in pots would take.

Any other questions, Stiles?

Any truth to the immortal Keanu Reeves theory? You probably knew him when he was younger, if there is.

[... No response. He needs to have a cigar rn, brb.]

[ oh my god, keanu reeves is immortal. ]

Goodnight Stiles.